Lost in no mans land

sometimes in life such things really get me very puzzled. i have totally no idea y such things will happen and y i reacted in such a way. sometimes i feel that i am doing quite well and i praise myself but everytime i does that, right aft that, a lot of things will seem to change, change to state whereby i hate myself to core. i juz dunno y i did those things, if u ask me if theres any reason for it i seriously dunno, maybe there is but i seriously dunno wats the reason. anyone out there if u know plz enlighten me. there are really a lot of things i am trying to improve but sometimes it juz gets really tough and i seriously need that time to improve. to some, yes i may look successful i may look great in front of crowd but so wat? if u ask me if i am happy i seriously am not, and its not that i hate life but its juz that the things i do... is there a way for me to behave like how i behave normally when with my friends around even infront of crowd? is there a way? yes there is but i seriously have no idea how either, plz someone out there teach me. sometimes things are juz hard to explain and no matter how much i do, the improvement seems to be in the air, juz like atoms which i can even feel them. Who is closer to me? kays i have a blood related brother but we arent that close coz we seldom talk for the fact that we seldom see each other, but wats worse is we seldom fight. nvm bout that but if u ask me whos my best friend i have a lot. i dunno how they feel but the ppl i simply love them to the max and will happen forever are my 2 sisters, i have never mind of telling them anything, and seriously its everything and anything. so long as they are willing to hear, i don mind telling them all, every single thing. no1 can replace them in my heart. one of them is my jie name Grace Lim while the other is my mei name Toh Jia Min:D

tiredy freen all the biasy

tsk tsk tsk. hmm have been quite some time since i posted something huh, wasnt that hard to get back to school life but has been a tiring one for me.  wont ask for much, juz ask for some more time for my sleep.  think its kinda time i do smth bout that tho.  Previously during council meeting, i finally got the idea.  I have no confident that i can please every single one of u but i promise to really try my best.  i have my reasons for doing a lot of things, even the things that i know aft i do it u guys will hate me, i force myself into doing it also.  Sorry but i believe my reason is a very good one.  I juz wanna erm thank ALICIA!!! :D hahas.  playing so many roles around me that sometimes makes me confuse oso hahas.  Really u lighten my job a lot and i really appreciate that. but thats not the main point, the main point is that day in class, the words u told me really knocked me awake. thankyous lots.  promise to try my best kays :D 

Dead beat no beat

Haiz has been a really tiring holiday this june.  Things are all packed together and i dont even have space to breathe some fresh air.  Well but i guess its also time for me to cheerup and look at even the brighter side.  Right now trying to get all the holiday hw done, and i guess this is my first time trying to chiong finish all the hw within 2 days hahas.  Shall try ta prevent this in future.  Oh ya and anyway, would like to once again wish my dear sis A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.  A lot of things would have been a way big difference without you.  U made a big difference in my life, in a lot of others life too.  Hope all ur wishes comes true and anyw more things are coming up hahas.  Love you ttm sis. :) stay happy always

MY BIRTHDAY!!! ;D

heyo yo guys! wooohooooo today is my super duper birthday.  right but in a few mins time it marks the end of it alr, is alright, things that starts always ends.  Well, juz thankyous lots for the small party and celebration, thankyous everyone for all the well wishes be it thro sms, thro call, thro twitter or facebook or even thro face to face, thankyous guys lots to the max.  Also thankyou for all the present, u guys are the best :D Everything will be forever in my heart don worry :) thankyous

If only words can explain everything

It is really not easy to find a true and real direction and go with it for life, but sometimes juz out of a matter of rushing, we juz make do with any direction.  Sometimes its really easy to get lost in our life, but the thing that most of us would avoid is not to let someone say get lost to you.  Although thats only when u really get on someone nerves or u intrude too much, but thats the thing that most doesn't like to say or hear.  It is really alright to get lost in our life, because thats perfectly normal, but do most people really learn from their lost experience and get back on their feet and stand firm on their feet and never to get lost again.  It sounds easy but yet not easy, sound tough but yet not tough.  However, how many can actually do it?

OBS

yoyo sup to all! Back from OBS camp weeeeheeee, finally can be linked back to the world network again. Didnt post this immediately right after i come back from the OBS camp coz these few days am simply too tired and don have the time to do so.

K this is erm our group photo of our group, a part of team 2 echo which consist of both group Hillary and Nila Utama. I am from grp Utama. Our team members are:

• Azri
• Izdihar
• Mandy
• Jeslyn
• Farizuan
• Azman
• Marilyn
• Krisada
• Jocelyn
• Rebecca
• Syakila
• Syahfurah
• Ren Yi
• Cuiting
• Jia Hui
• Nazri

Finally last but not least Zhi Wei our trainer. Seriously this is one of the longest camp i have been to and yet it is the toughest but most enjoyable and memorable. Indeed i dont think anyone who went for this camp will sort of forget this camp at all, like wat the banner said at the jetty back at pulau ubin camp 2, "Theres something about OBS that stays with you for life". Much as indeed am concern, its totally true. For the 2e1'09 students, u guys should know the feeling of it when Mr Teo left PHSS, thats the feeling you get when we seperate from each other from the campsite. But really i have never regretted going to OBS despite its toughness and everything. It is all those bits and pieces that our team shared together that brought us all together. 2 students from each sch, no i should be saying 2 leaders from each sch and a total of 8 schs which means a total of 16 ppl coming together from diff backgrounds, diff schs forming a team together and got together, going thro thick and thin throughout the camp, doing things that we might not even get the chance to do with our closest friends forever juz like the land and sea expedition, smth that not everytime we will get a chance to do it. I mean is like so really very meaningful and helping each other to pull through all these is not smth that we can experience everyday.... But seriously this camp i would say its totally diff from a lot of camps becoz theres learning everywhere, learning when ur playing, learning when we are trekking, totally everywhere, kay maybe pang sai nv learn lor... Anywhere else oso have learning. And these learning points will really stay with us for life. Other details i guess i would save for those who went for this camp ya, for us to know hahas. There are more photos u guys can find them on fb but i lazy to upload ler hahas. So ya i bought quite a lot of stuff tho like a obs cap, obs key chain, 2 obs shirt and 1 obs shorts, wooohooo! And ya tho there are stilll a lot of things that i can say but then ya shall not go any further, and ya i sort of juz "renewed" my blog so ya rmb to tag ya ;D cya! And oya before i forget, thx to ALL NILA UTAMAIANS FOR EVERYTHING, LOVE YOU GUYS!

PHSS leadership camp 2010 by Trybe

WOW! juz came back from the leadership camp organised by the Trybe and i would say it is simply too awesome.  I didnt know that we could have such a fantastic camp in SCHOOL.   But really thx to the trybe team, but i think we will meet each other soon, juz now went to find Jeime (i think is liddat spell lah) and requested to join Trybe, look forward to working with all of u guys kay.  Learn really a lot from trybe team bout leadership and how to set up the camp fire.  Oso got the most dedicated camper award kay but i really didnt expect that.  I juz know that i have lost like 90% of my voice now becoz of all the cheerings ytd campfire night.  But i juz tot that it is really worth it lorh :) Mighty Ducky u guys are the best kays ;D  Kinda tired now i believe those who went for the camp knows all the details which i shall not go into that coz i am sorta tired now and i am oso lazy to say it all coz theres really tons which makes it like endless lolz.  I juz hope that all the leaders had fun ya.  So next coming camp is OBS camp , looking much forward to that weeeee! :D

Wee wee in sch

Wow now in sh with shandy waiting for xav,this itouch is so dam cool can,blogging using it now,nth much let!!bb

End oe^ exams

Woohoooo its finally the end of exams, end of part 1 misery.  Part 2 misery will be when we get back out results. Well nvm bout that, at least we don have to study and revise like crazy agn or have 4 whole periods of the same lesson in a day.  Well the exams... hmm papers some very difficult some still not that bad.  Bads hope no careless mistake,  phy hope i used the right formula? lolz.  Today went out with clique for a big big feast and to take the class tee. Seh boh now vary full leh... Haiz i tot gals are good at cooking, today they proved me wrong other than nic lolz.  Got some unglam photos tho, got time i will then post, for now, till then, bye then, cya peeps ;D

Naffa test

Wooo this weeks the naffa plus mye week. Oh well ytd was all the 5 elements while today is the 2.4 run.  lets take a look at the result

1. Shuttle run --> 10.53
2. Sit Ups --> 44
3. Standing broad jump --> 180
4. Sit and reach --> 49.5
5. Inclined pull up --> 28
6. 2.4 run --> 6th in position (timing dunno)

k lah overall soso but i failed that stupid standing broad jump, zzz.  Well done to all 3E1 students, was a great run at the 2.4.  Super well done to Sherry and Jerrick and Yao Kun, i guess all should know the reasons. k thats it really time is like running out, study and study is all that i care now coz MYE is here! K got to work supa hard alr, may only be able to post aft the MYE, till then peeps;D

sianzess

Now thought of it, MYE is on its way this week and naffa test running in too.  Sick and tired of having all the boring things all flooding in at the same time... kk not gonna say much, gonna rest soon and prepare for naffa test tmr, cya!

3E1 ;D

wooohoooo 3E1 ur awesome. Today had hand ball and captains ball competition for IFD.  Even tho our gals lost, but i think they did really well, i guess the class will be also very proud of u.  For the boys side, well done too at least we got third. tmr..............................

haiz shall say it some other time hahas

OH YA AND A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DOREEN;D

Goods new

Juz thought that this new song is kinda nice and meaningful but can't be found on mixpod lolz. guess is too new for it but nvm found it on youtube and its really meaningful. I guess thats wat most of the teens are thinking rite? Yea kinda true hahas and oya other than that, juz wanna tell u guys that i got 24/25 for e maths juz becoz i skipped one step, mr neo jealous of me becoz i can skip one step thats y minus rite... lolz jkjk haiz but not happy at all becoz the paper was kinda easy, don have the man zu gan hahas but well, at least it gives a nice profile on my report book for emath lolz. Juz now went to counsin's bday at kbox, wooohooo was fun, pool skills improve another level hahas. Anyw, happy bday;D freedom for u alr wor, i still have years to come hahas.

You would never really appreciate someone when they are around, you only realise their importance after they have left

Oh my goodness... ¬ today mr teo came back to phss. Though i do not know y he came back but he said it was for a meeting, no longer teaching here still have meeting here? kk that really puzzled me. Ya i think he purposely walk pass our classroom and when we notice him, everyone chiong towards him and the final destination was in the gents lolz. Everyone from 2e1'09 rushed to the toilets, poor gals can only stand outside to see hahas. But he was there to only wash hands hahas. After school went to the talk which miss thien wanted to talk to us and after that the excos went for exco meeting at 1t1 classroom. i remembered smth very vividly which is mr teo walked pass 1t1 classroom agn, woohoooo! I was shocked but we i wave and he came to the door there, i thought he wanted to come in so i say you can come in if you wan but he didnt. Then i tease him a little by getting the excos to stand and greet him hahas, he was like ok... good afternoon then he went to toilet agn, haiz saw him twice today and both he was going to the toilet hahas.Dunno lah , juz feel very happy with him around :)))))))))))) After that went to find him but realise he went off alr and the meeting has ended, haiz... Then went to talk to my gans, u know who u are and u know wat we talked about, no need me to say bah, was really a meaningful heart to heart talk or should i call it the heartS to heartS talk instead. After that went to find miss lee and discussed about the prom night and then went home.Thats all for today, omg i am missing mr teo agn, like so fast? haiz hope to see you soon mr teo, hope ur doing well, take care;D

Power of words

Recently i came across a song called power of love but was juz wondering y there isnt a song called power of words. Hmm shall be a nice song to write and could really means a lot. Everything and anything that happens under the sun and within the galaxy all comes back to one thing, words. Even the things u say comes back to words tho u do not physically see the words. If juz a simple word, well done and spur someone on as much as helping him succeed, arent words powerful? While words can be encouraging, also do not neglect the negative side effects of words. Words sometimes can be very much hurting too. Words are juz like drugs, sometimes ppl can spike them into ur drink and u have the drug substance in ur body even without u knowing. Sometimes ur own words can hurt others even without u knowing also, worse comes to worse is either people do not tell u so that u know or ppl are afraid to tell u simply becoz they scared u might not be able to take it. Sometimes ppl tend to ignore others advice and sometimes even scold someone who criticize them but in fact, ppl who criticize u are ppl who are helping u to realise ur mistake so that u can change for the better but some ppl simply juz ignore it. Have u even thought if we as human beings do not change for the better, wats the meaning of life? u will be stuck at a level forever and not improving at all. Tho it may be true that the truth sometimes may be pretty much hurting also, but it does have positive side effects on a long term period. Sometimes even heart felt words deep down in ppls' heart can be a form of collecting stamps too. However one important tasks that not many actually in fact knows how to do it correctly is how to remove these stamps in the right way and even put them to good use. Words are a bunch of scary creatures even when they appear online, that is y there is a form of cyber bully. Sometimes the things u post on the net, ppl may get rather hurt aft seeing it but how many would eventually tell u that they feel hurt coz of ur words? U juz got to be careful with ur words and eventually thats the only key to the gate of unhurting words. But frankly, which human being has never hurt anyone before with his/her words? So in fact we study so much bout bullying and cyber bully, the truth is everyone is a bully.

Investiture

Okay hip hip all;D Totally am officially an exco member of the student council alr. weeeee. k today i went up was really weird. i dunno wat u guys heard but this is wat i heard, not trying to zi wo an wei oso k... from the stage, left side clap and scream, right side no clap plus boo lolz. kk fine and haiz i missed out 2 sentence for the speech seh boh... Ya and fellow councillors juz to get prepared, u guys most likely wont get an easy time in council ;D

你。。。。。。。

你说你爱上了他 ，
把心全都给了他 ，
爱情就像一堆沙 ，
那不起也放不下 ，
你走的每个步伐 ，
真令我无法自拔 ，
因为我的心里只有你没有他。

c00l

0.o is 1.23AM now 0o nice no. but am not asleep yet and still have seminar tmr morning,zzz. That day went out for movie outing ya was pretty cool and starting to miss that toothless hahas. Well am seriously very fed up with my parents now......argh...
真是家家有本难念的经
Many say that i am so fortunate to have such a complete family or is it a misery to have a complete family. But at least am fortunate to have a good bro but seriously not my parents. Thinking that u are always right is 100% ridiculous coz ur humans too and u simply claim that u made no mistakes at all and refuse to admit to the fact that u will make mistakes. Trying to infute that everything i do is wrong simply irritates me to the end and max. I have tolerated all these nonsense for years and am so not going into centuries. Really feel like scolding that F word now but will i? kk wait and see. You claim that u guys know every single thing under the sun about me but u don even know wats my favourite colour. A very simple qns that all my friends if do not know the ans at least have a clue of it. And u dare to qns me y i am closer to my friends than to all of u? Freaking hell use ur brain to think of it would u be closer to someone who knows u or someone who don know u. Trying to infiltrate ur ideas into my mind doesnt help at all so give UP! Freaking pissed off. I am born this way and u guys should know that i am not the unreasonable sort. If u want to say no to a request, plz provide a solid reason if not do not even think bout saying the 2 letters NO becoz simply is a sure thing that i wont listen to all those crap. How come i cannot do this and ur ans to it is becoz i don like seeing u do this. Don like it? too bad simply juz too bad. Yes i admit to provide a solid reason that is able to shut my mouth and made no argues back at all is not an easy task but did u guys even try?! Throwing tanthrums at me when ur down and who do i throw them to? We are all humans and are u trying to imply that since u can do that on me when ur down, when i am down can i put it all out on u oso? U said this is smth wrong to do and yet u guys did it. U said not to follow ur foot steps but i am wearing the shoe u guys worn and how is that possible that i don follow ur foot steps? Sometimes all i need is juz a tap on the shoulder, a compliment or even juz a hug and where are all these coming from? my gans and friends. When i lose a competition u guys say ur so lousy cant even win k hitting me down fine and not even some encouraging words, FINE! And wat about when i win? u guys say juz a little shabby and lucky. HELLO?! Do u even know that words can oso kill someone thats y theres cyber bully. Ppl work hard for their goals, not count on luck to reach their goals. Success is a journey, not at all a destination. I do not need to lead a prosperous life like u guys said i need to, i juz need a caring and understanding parents. At times when i am down, it is my gans and my friends who were there for me, where were u guys? Asking if i have freaking completed my project? Yes i am under stress but who don? yes i do treat all these stress a my motivation, as smth to push me on but ur adding on to it? Having fuel to run the car is feasible but pouring excess fuel for the car do u think the car can even work?! Seriously don make me hate u guys to core, is smth i don wish to do.
K don talka bout all these alr, tmr have seminar then need go clinic then go cut hair somemore then come back home chiong all my hw. So long guys and thx to all my gans and friends who were always there for me, and super thx to those who actually notice i am faking a smile and face and know that i am down at that point of time. Looks like i needa work on my acting to put up fake smile ya;D

Sec3 camp

Backy from camp, wooohooo kinda cyko now hahas.  Really had fun with the class esp those 3 crazy guys and erhm.. hahas.  Played those acti which i had never had the chance to try before.  Thx to our 2 lovely facil amin and xiao hui, damn nice ppl:) Mrs Dan came even when she was ill, mr neo joined us in acti even tho he was like a bit scared hahas.  Found a buddha in our class, MR NEO!!!:) Walk while playing paintball for 2times and didnt got shot at all= = ytd slept like from 9 till now... still feeling tired hahas shall go sleep somemore lata, omg feela a pig hahas.  k lah but only the boys of e1 and e2 have air con, thats kinda unfair lah... The camp has ended... but i believe the memories will stay in our heart forever

HOOOO

Today hmmmmm, counted an happy occasion for me? Ya but i mean, there are ppl who were hoping and pray really hard for this to happen, there were oso ppl who were hoping the result would be smth else. Well but watever it is, decision has been made and so lets hope everyone will cooperate. Scolding has become my last resort i guess thats some sorta good news? hahas. To be low profile, i shall not say anything bout wat happen and if ur really so kpo and wanna find out, go ask around and u might easily find the answer to it but plz don come asking me lolz. Tried to hold my tears tho but well, i didnt go that smoothly. A very warm welcome to all our new councillors, must work hard wor:) And thx a lot and i really mean it thx a lot to all the sec4 councillors for setting up that stable and firm platform for us and for all ur service for the council, and i know all our fellow councillors would not disappoint u, so erm yi lu shun feng bah:)Shall end it here, gonna continue with my hw hahas,cya guys